Elementals 6

   We eat sandwiches that Tony has thrown together. Alexis is slumped on one of the couches and Tony is watching her. He looks like he wants to say something. I jump in before he can put his foot in his mouth again. "Earth?" I ask. Alexis looks up. "Yes, I'm just a weak one." she says. "Healing a tree is not weak." I say. "A strong earth elemental would be able to do more than heal." she says dejectedly. "They certainly wouldn't be drained so quickly." she stands. "I'm going to get the supplies from the store. I won't forget the M&Ms." she tells Misha. "I'll drive you." Tony offers. "It's alright. My car is in the shed." she says heading out quickly. Tony looks at me and says " what shed". We've been here two days and I hadn't noticed a shed. Tony and I go to the front door in time to see a sleek black BMW sedan peeling down the dirt road.
   "Wow" Misha says squeezing in between us. " Can I ride with Auntie next time?" she asks. "Sure." Tony answers patting her own the head, then picking her up and swinging her around so that she's now sitting on his shoulders. Her sneakers swinging over his white T- shirt. Tony 's standard uniform T-shirt and jeans. "Let's go for a walk. No a run. " he tells her before taking off down the road. Misha holds on to his neck and I hear her happily squealing as Tony picks up the pace. "Don't go too far " I call just as they leave my sight.  

     I sit on the couch and pick up the map. I find the spot marking the safe house we'd used five years ago. Tony and I drove for hours that night. I was so upset after losing Jayson that I barely remember the drive. Misha cried off and on and I made a few feeble attempts to calm her. I think she felt Jayson leave the same as I did. I lost track of time. I know Tony stopped at a few remote places for gas. He tried to get me to eat but I couldn't. We made it out of the country in record time.

   The little house Tony pulled up to was in The middle of a quant residential neighborhood. It was not what I had expected. When I walked inside carrying Misha in my arms, my jaw dropped it was nothing like the little cabin I'd been living in. I walked around and discovered two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a full kitchen and a little living room. The back yard was nice, but small by elemental standards. "Is this safe?" I asked after completing the tour. "Yes, sometimes hiding in plain sight is better." he replied taking Misha from my arms. "I'll give her a bottle, you get some rest." he ordered. I chose the master bedroom since it had a bathroom attached. I sat on the bed with my hands at my sides and closed my eyes. The image of the door exploding and the tornado above the house kept flashing in my mind. I felt my body start to heat up and knew I shouldn't, knew the elders could since my fire when it burned but at this point I had little control. I let the heat rise, maybe I'd burn the house down, maybe the whole damn town. I was so angry. Just when it felt like my body was about to explode I opened my eyes. I looked down at my hands and there was nothin, no flame, no heat nothing. My flame was gone floating on the wind with Jayson. 

Elementals 4

    The smell coming from the little kitchen is delightful. I walk in and take a seat on a stool at the counter next to Misha. Tony and Alexis are cooking. They are working together effortlessly. He seems to know what she needs before she does. Alexis puts her hand out behind her without looking back and Tony deftly drops an egg into it. She cracks it over the side of a pan and begins working on an omelette . Tony places chopped veggies on a plate near the pan. Alexis tosses them in the pan without looking up. Today, she's wearing dark blue skinny jeans that show off her figure, a loose fitting black top and black boots. My stomach growls at the smell of bacon now sizzling on the stove. Misha giggles. The sound of her laughter pulls Alexis and Tony out of the cooking zone they were in. Plates are set on the counter and breakfast is placed neatly on the plates by Alexis. Tony, Misha and I grin at each other and say in unison "precision". 

  Alexis finishes folding the towel she'd been using to clean and looks up at us. "Well I'm glad to see my young students remember the things I say." She says. Tony appearing to take offense says " I'm not that young" between bites of his omelette. "Finish up" she orders. "You two can use my bathroom to shower and change" she says with a nod to me and Misha. "It's time to come up with a plan" I stuff the little food left on my plate into my mouth and take Misha by the hand. Her plate is nearly empty and I know she's done. As we walk out I hear Alexis and Tony talking quietly as they wash the dishes. 

    We're sitting on the couches in the living room area of the cabin. I've made an attempt to tame the curly madness that is Misha's hair. It's in a bun on the too of her head and rogue curls are peeking out around it. I smile as I sneak peaks at my daughter with her honey colored skin and hazel eyes like her fathers. She's engulfed in a picture book about fairys. I want to tell her about us, about Jayson, but now's not the time. Alexis has spread a map out on a coffee table between the three of us. "I think we should head north". I say throwing out my idea. Tony's eyes scan the mapping searching for a safe route. Alexis sits up straight putting a hand under her chain considering my words. "We can keep to the back roads. Stick to the woods." I say. Tony and Alexis exchange a look. "I'm sorry, we can't insure you for a journey like that." Alexis says. I give her a questioning look. She sighs. "Sticking to the back roads is a good plan. Even heading north, but the woods." "It's where I feel the strongest." I say. "That's the point. It's also where they'll be the strongest too  and we can't insure your safety on a trip like that. Tony nods his head in agreement. I take control of the situation pointing out a route on the map.

"We'll take this route and head north then out of the country." I say. "But first we train" I say sparking the map where my finger is pointing to our final stop. A safe house we'd used five years ago. 

Elementals 5

    After some convincing it's settled. We'll do some training then start our trip in about a week. First for me anyway is the hard part. I need to figure out how to explain this all to Misha. I know she senses something is different about me and uncle Tony, even Alexis who is pretty much human. Alexis comes from a lineage of Elementals that married humans. Her bloodline has been diluted but she still possesses a little power. This talk would be easier if Misha had ever shown any sign of power, but so far she hasn't. It's kind of funny in a twisted way all this running and hiding because the elders think Misha is the child of legend. Too bad for them she's not. I finishes splashing cold water on my face and head out of the bathroom. Now or never I tell myself. 

    Misha and Tony are playing a game where she tries to name supplies we need from the grocery store that start with the letter M like her name. Tony high fives her after she rattles off "mints, M&Ms, meat and money". "Definitely money." I say. Her big eyes light up at the sound of my voice. "Mommy, I won." She says. "That's great honey. And now it's time for your prize." I tell her. "Alexis, Tony meet us out back". I beckon to Misha and she follows me toward the back door.  I sit on the porch and Misha joins me. "I want to tell you something about how special our family is." I tell her. She looks at me curiously. "Your daddy, he was a special man." "Jayson!" She interjects. I fight back tears. "Yes, honey. Jayson. He was like magic." I say. "We all are". Her eyes grow big and she starts to laugh. "Are you tricking me?" Clear disbelief in her voice. "Come on. I'll show you." I say getting up and walking off the porch. She hurries to my side and I hear the back door close behind Alexis and Tony. 

    I lead them to the spot in the woods I used last night. It's now marked by the charred tree. We sit on the ground in a circle. Misha wants for us to provide her with evidence of this magic.  I'm sitting directly across from her. "I'll start." I say closing my eyes so that I can concentrate. The increasingly familiar heat warms me from the inside. When I open my eyes Misha is clapping and smiling ear to ear. There are flames dancing in my palm, almost performing for her. She gasps when Tony releases a stream of water from his hand that reaches across the circle and extinguishes my flames. "Auntie Alexis, you next" Misha exclaims. Alexis sighs and stands up. I've no idea if enough power has trickled down for her to put on display. The three of us wait with bated breath. Alexis places both palms on the burned tree then closes her eyes. Nothing happens. I start thinking of how to explain her situation, when I see it. The tree is regenerating, the char slowly disappearing. When it's completely healed, no sign it was ever burned Alexis sinks to the ground. Tony rushes over and asks if she's o.k.. " fine, it just drains me quickly " she huffs out leaning against the tree. "Magic" Misha says almost to herself. " My turn now?" She asks. I nod yes, thinking maybe she's developed a skill I hadn't noticed in the chaos. Misha closes her eyes and concentrates like I did. When she opens them she has nothing to show for it. She tries again this time mimicking the hand motion Tony used to create the stream of water. Nothing. She stands up and goes to the tree placing her hands on it. Still nothing. She looks at me, frustration in her eyes. "Don't worry baby. It takes a long time for powers to develop." I lie. "Let's head back inside for lunch." The four of us walk towards the house and I wonder how I will explain that Misha's only power is the lack of one. A breeze moves through the trees and I look around before closing the door behind me. 

Elementals 3

    I turn my back to the tree as tears form in my eyes. I try to push down the painful memories and kick myself for losing control. "Great", I whisper to myself. Not only have I lost control but I've endangered us by setting the tree on fire. Just as real panic starts to take over, the heat from the tree behind me subsides. I turn back to the tree and see Tony standing there with a hand outstretched. The tree now drenched and only slightly smoking.
   I am fire. Jayson was wind and Tony, he is water. " What are you doing out here?" he asks. "practicing." I reply. "Are you ok?" he asks. "Your eyes are watering". Tony was never one to mince words. Always putting his foot in his mouth. "Too close to the flames". I lie wiping the tears with my shirt sleeve. "Piece of advice. Next time you want to practice, bring me along." Tony says as we walk back towards the house.
    "Why'd you come outside?" I ask. Sharpening my stalking skills." He deadpans. I give him a look of distaste. Last thing I want to hear right now is a joke about stalking. He may always say the wrong thing but he reads me well. "Couldn't sleep. I checked in on Misha and noticed you weren't with her. Boy that kid can sleep." "This has been an overwhelming day for everyone especially her." I reply. "Let's try and get some rest. Tomorrow we start planning. " I say closing the door and securing the locks behind be. Tony gives me a salute then returns to the couch. I slip into the bed with Misha and let her steady breathing lull me to sleep.

    That night I dream of the wind. It's moving fast through the trees and I'm running to catch it. "Jayson " I call out. "Please stop. Don't leave us behind." I keep running but it's too fast. I fall to my knees and press my hands to the ground . Flames encircle me. They're out of control coming closer, crawling up my body. I start to scream.

    "Mommy, are you O.K.?' Misha is shaking me. I open my eyes and look at her. I smile and say that I'm fine, but I can see the fear in her eyes. My palms are sweaty and when I look down I see the sheets are cinged where I gripped them while I slept. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I've tried to shelter Misha from who we are, but soon the time will come for her to know the truth. I sit up using my legs to cover the burned parts of the sheets and grin at Misha. "Are you hungry ?" I ask. "Pancakes!" We say in unison. She jumps out of the bed and I follow. 

Elementals 1

"We will go. We will go." I say again. This time out loud snapping myself out of the shock. I knew this day would come. The day I'd been preparing for over the last 5 years. "Go get the car" I order Tony. He walks away without a word. Presumably to pull the car out of the garage. I grab Misha's small hand in mine, then the suitcase I keep prepacked by the front door in the other. I slam the door behind me not bothering to lock it. It doesn't matter now that they've found us. Tony pulls the black SUV out of the garage and I open the back passenger door, first the suitcase, then Misha. After she is secure I jump in and ride shotgun with Tony. As we fly down the road I notice two black town cars creeping up the block from the opposite direction. "Floor it" I say as we head for the cabin.
The full moon shines bright tonight and the urge to stand under it and bask in the glow flickers within me. I fight the urge and look back at Misha, sleeping quietly in the backseat. Her light brown curls have come loose from her pigtails and have fallen onto her forehead. I take a deep sigh and thank God for the 5 years of pieces I had with my Angel. The car slows as Tony turns off the main road and heads up a hidden dirt path to the cabin. I knock in the special pattern I memorized years ago. I hear a dead bolt move, then several locks clicking open. I let out a sigh of relief there were no lights on and no sign of a car when we drove up. The door opens slightly and I raise my hands up when I realize I'm looking at  the barrel of a shot gun. Behind it stands Alexis at 5'9 she towers over me. Her afro is perfect as always and she wears all black making her body blind into the darkness. "Alexis. Its me. Its Roxie." I say. "Well what the hell are you doing standing around outside?" She asks lowering the shotgun. I signal to Tony and he scoops Misha up into his strong hands then gently puts her over his shoulder. One hand on her back the other carrying the suitcase. Alexis steps back and let's us in.
Tony has put Misha on the bed in the spare room. "She's out" he says sinking down next to me on the couch. Alexis sits across from us on a smaller couch. "They found us". I tell her. "We knew this would happen one day" she says grimly. "Can we stay?" I ask. "Not for long just until we've got a clear plan." Alexis stands and pats me on the shoulder. "If it's a plan you need, I'm your girl. You know I'll do whatever I can to protect you and my God daughter." She stretches, yawns and says she's going back to bed. Tony offers to take the couch. I check in on Misha. She's curled into a little ball under the sheets sleeping soundly. Something about the full moon brings us both piece. I sneak out the back door and sit on the little porch facing the deep woods. The pull of the moon is stronger here. So close to nature. I walk off the porch and head towards the woods. I pause before entering and let the moons glow wash over me. When I'm deep enough into the woods that I won't be seen I close my eyes and concentrate. I haven't done this is years but now I need to practice, sharpen my skills so that I can protect Misha. After just a moment of concentration I feel the heat in my body. I open my eyes and watch the ball of flame I've created in my palm. This is who I really am. Roxanne born to a family of Elementals. And me . I am Fire.

Check out the full story on Amazon and in the Kindle store now for just $2.99

Note the title has been changed. Be on the look out for book 2: Wind Keeper coming soon.

The Roxie Chronicles 1: Burn by Raquel Antoinette

Elementals 2

  Most people think that the Sun fuels a fire elemental and it does, but it also drains us. Anything taken from the Sun must be returned. The full moon however, is a different story. When the moon is full it's at it's strongest and because the cycle will begin again the moon gives energy without needing it back.
  I extinguish the flame in my palm and close my eyes again. I draw energy from the heat in the moon and try again. This time when I open my eyes there is a small ball of flame over each palm. I extinguish the flames and sit cross legged on the ground. I'm worried I won't be strong enough. What I need is a blood moon.
   Those are so rare. The last one was 5 years ago. I cringe at the memory. What should have been the happiest night of my life was turned into the worst. I remember the sharp pain in my stomach that had signaled it was time. Jayson helped me out of little house and to our chosen spot in the woods. It was all prepared blankets , towels, water etc. This is our way Elementals are Bourne of nature therefore we are born into nature.
  A fresh wave of pain hit as I lay on the blankets , blood moon blazing in the sky. I squeezed Jayson's hand so tightly that a slight breeze rustled the trees. I am fire and Jayson he is wind. Our union was watched closely by the elders of our kind. There is old lore about a child being born to two strong elementals under the blood moon. At that point I was the most powerful fire elemental in decades and Jayson's control of the wind was unmatched. Some believed that because air fuels fire that the child I carried would be the one from the old stories. A child who would possess power over all four elements. Earth, wind, water and fire.
   Its just lore old, fairy tales, we told ourselves. When we fell in love there was no stopping us. We moved as far as we could and still be part of the clan. Fear grew in our hearts when we discovered I was pregnant. We made plans. Talked with Tony, Jayson's brother the only one we could trust. We knew we'd have to run. 
  The strongest wave of pain paired with an overwhelming urge to push hit me. I drew strength from Jayson and the blood moon. Then she was here in the world. Misha was in my arms. "How long?" I asked Jayson. "How long until they can sense her presence?". "Not long" he said. "We have to get you back to the house. Can you stand?" I was so weak. I didn't think I could move. I shook my head. Jayson bent over and picked us up in his arms. I felt the wind beneath us. He used the force of it to float the three of is back to the house. He lay me and Misha in the bed and demanded I rest. I closed my eyes and felt Misha snuggle against me. 

   I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep when I felt the bed shake. The ground was moving beneath the house. The elders they were coming to take Misha from us. Jayson was in the room before I could call for him followed by Tony. "I'm still to weak". I said panic in my heart. "Don't worry. We got this." Jayson had that wild gleam in his hazel eyes I'd fallen in love with. Tony helped me to my feet. We placed Misha in a baby carrier I wore over my chest. The tremors under my feet grew stronger. Jayson leaned over and kissed Misha on the top of her head. Then he grabbed me and gave me a kiss that fueled the flames inside me. "Jayson, you can't". I knew then he'd passed some of his strength on to me. "I love you he said". Tony pulled me towards the back of the house where his truck was waiting. I stumbled as the strongest tremor yet hit our grounds. We peeled away from the house and as I looked back I saw the door of the house explode. A tornado was forming above the house and I knew that Jayson was using the last of stregth to help us get away. We weren't far from the house whe  n I felt Jayson's strength leave me. Like the wind he was gone. I lost Jayson then, I will not lose Misha now. I stand up and throw my hands out in frustration. The tree across from me erupts in flames. 

This Single Lady's Life Part 6

Dating : what single people do to torture themselves in the hopes of finding love.

As a single lady I've always been annoyed by married people who say how much easier it is to be single or suggest that I would not like Marriage. Instantly I think if being married sucks so bad why aren't you meeting with a lawyer so you file for divorce?

I know the answer to my question. The answer is simple. It's because no matter how difficult being married is....dating is so much worse.

Date 1: After no luck with being set up by friends or randomly meeting people, I got a date through an online dating site. I talked on the phone with him at length. Due to our busy schedules it took to weeks to met. We met for a movie on a Monday evening as that was his day off. I immediately regretted not having asked a very important question. Do you smoke? He reeked of cigarettes. I have asthma and honestly just can not stand the smell. I spent my time watching the movie, holding my breath and trying to think of a tactful way to address the situation. So when the movie was over he gave me a hug and I asked him how often he smoked. He swore that it was rare and he had only smoked because he was nervous to meet me. We chatted a few times after the date how very we agreed that this was not going to work .

In hindsight I remembered that early he informed me he was going to the south of France for a vacation. He gave me the name of the city and had me Google it. The city just happened to be home of a very large nudist community. I somehow missed that red flag.

Check back soon for more from This Single Lady's Life. Comment, like and share.

This Single Lady's Life Part 5

This year many of my friends either got married or had babies. As a single lady who values family I have been happy to share in their joy, but also a bit worried for myself. I have begun to wonder why it is that I am still single.

I began completing the homework assignments as part of my love course. I took a look back at my dating history, then identified my negative dating patterns. I have informed friends and coworkers that I am looking and open to being setup. Unfortunately the majority of my friends are in relationships and as such have lost contact with many of their single friends. My single friends well let's just say I have yet to be setup with anyone.

I returned to online dating, one specialty website, one popular and one dating app. As I browsed the profiles I noticed something about the way men present themselves online. Many of the profiles featured shirtless pictures, a few in the hot tub and some exposing much more. I appreciate the male form, however I realized that I find this willingness of men to objectify themselves as a turn off. I have also received very forward and sometimes aggressive first messages. Online dating to me seemed to have declined to a meat market. I found myself wondering would this man ask such inappropriate questions if his first interaction with a woman was in person?

I committed myself to three months of online dating. It has been difficult not to sink back into the hermit pattern and delete my accounts. I forced myself to continue with the homework and soon had a first date scheduled.

Find out how my date went next time. There is much more to This Single Lady's Life.

This Single Lady's Life Part 4

So if you've been reading my blog you know that at the ripe old age of 35 I decided to figure out why it is that I'm still single. I picked up a "love course " and began to take a look at my single life. Here is what I've discovered about myself so far. For years I have been engaged in what has been classified as The Hermit Dating pattern.

Here's what that means. I was too busy with school, then work and my internship then studying for my state exams etc. I kept myself so busy and focused on other things that by the end of the day I was exhausted and had no energy left for a social life or dating. I was basically hiding behind everything I had to do. What it boils down to is fear of trusting, fear of getting close to someone and fear of a broken heart.

I realized that I would use the "love will find you when you're not looking for it " saying as a crutch. One of the first things I had to ask myself on this new journey was "if I'm not looking how will I recognize it when love does come along?" So I took the first step and let a few one friends know what I'm up to. Then informed them that I'm open to blind dates. Then I returned to the dreaded online dating community!

Check back soon as there is much more to this single lady's life including all new experiences with online dating and the ways it has changed.

Don't forget to like, share and comment below.

This Single Lady's Life 3

This Single Lady's Life Part 3

Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Through my online dating before online dating was cool I met the following young men.

Derek: He was a year younger than me, lived nearby and was funny. I had a car he did not. So the younger version of myself was the taxi for all outings. He lived with his mother and she was very critical of him. Rarely hung out at his place. Then suddenly he was gone. I still have no idea what happened to him.

so I went out with Mario. Again no car. But he had a big smile and a big heart. He was just as geektastic as me. We spent many Saturdays watching the latest movies. We were both shy and neither one of us made a move. Then he moved out of the area. He ran into an ex. They are now happily married. Me, I'm still single. 

That leads me to Ray. He was fresh out of the Navy, he was strong, smart and attractive. When we were in the same room I could barely breath the chemistry was so strong. I didn't know how to express my feelings or how to say I don't want this to end. I went to a cast party for a play that I'd worked on and Suprisingly Ray was there too with a date. This was my first real heart break. How could someone I felt so strongly for do that to me? I kept trying with him until one day he stopped calling. He's married with children and me I'm still single.

Honorable Mentions: Jay a younger guy helped pick up the pieces after Ray. It was fun to be around until he pushed me and kicked me. He thought it was playful. I did not. Tony he would talk to me for hours. We would spend time at the beach. I asked why we never got more serious. He said his girl friends look like Brandy and well I don't. He's engaged and I'm still single.

I've continued to date off and on but have not managed to get past two or three dates with a anyone else.

Remember those negative dating patterns I learned about? Find out what that are in Part 4. Leave me a comment, like and share.

There's more to come in This Single Lady's Life. 

This Single Lady's Life 2

This Singe Lady's Life Part 2

A look back at my dating history. I don't recall any baby crushes, but I do remember hanging out with the son of one my mother's close friends when I was in third grade. Then nothing. I was one of five African American students in my entire elementary school. I was shy and unsure of myself. Middle school much of the same although I did attend a much more diverse school. I developed physically early and this attracted attention from much older boys some times even young adults. Being approached by grown men on the streets was very scary for me. Since I was shy I kept my head down and tried to ignore them.

High School was different I met the friend of a girl I'd worked with over the summer before freshmen year. He was nice to me, he held my hand, he gave me my first kiss, he walked me home from school. A few weeks after we met he noticed that his ex girlfriend lived in my apartment complex. He never talked to me again but he did start visiting her regularly. I had a big crush on a boy I only saw from afar. He wasn't in any of my classes and I didn't have the nerve to speak to him. So I put my nose in the books and graduated with honors and childless. The latter was quite an accommplishment since so many among my senior class graduated as parents.

College, time to get out there and date I thought. I tried posting an ad online and met a handful of interesting young men. 

Want to know about them and why I'm still single?                                          

Stay tuned there's much more to This Single Lady's Life.

Let me know what you think. Feel free to leave a comment below.

This Single Lady's Life 1

This Single Lady's Life. Part One.

I turned 35 years old this year and celebrated with a few close friends. I felt blessed to have friends and family who love, care, support and encourage me. In the past 7 years I have graduated from university with a Master's Degree in clinical psychology, completed my internship hours, past my boards and obtained my license in marriage and family therapy. I have also begun my own private practice while accepting a promotion at the community services agency where I work. I've worked hard at achieving my goals and turning dreams into reality. This has been true in all areas of my life except for one. Finding the one.

I was a child who always loved working with younger children. I adored my nieces who I babysat regularly. I knew that I wanted to grow up and have children of my own one day. The big wedding, the groom I wasn't so sure about but babies yes. So this year it hit me. I'm single, I have no children. Why? I value having a family, I've always wanted children. What should I do about this dilemma?

A colleague suggested that I read a self help book she highly recommends. After saying what do I have to lose I downloaded the book. I discovered that the book is more of a Love Course. First I needed to look back and discovering my dating patterns. Want to know what I discovered? Stay tuned.

Have questions for me? Leave me a comment or a question and let me know what you think. Don't forget to check back soon.