Saturday, July 26, 2014

This Single Lady's Life Part 6

Dating : what single people do to torture themselves in the hopes of finding love.

As a single lady I've always been annoyed by married people who say how much easier it is to be single or suggest that I would not like Marriage. Instantly I think if being married sucks so bad why aren't you meeting with a lawyer so you file for divorce?

I know the answer to my question. The answer is simple. It's because no matter how difficult being married is....dating is so much worse.

Date 1: After no luck with being set up by friends or randomly meeting people, I got a date through an online dating site. I talked on the phone with him at length. Due to our busy schedules it took to weeks to met. We met for a movie on a Monday evening as that was his day off. I immediately regretted not having asked a very important question. Do you smoke? He reeked of cigarettes. I have asthma and honestly just can not stand the smell. I spent my time watching the movie, holding my breath and trying to think of a tactful way to address the situation. So when the movie was over he gave me a hug and I asked him how often he smoked. He swore that it was rare and he had only smoked because he was nervous to meet me. We chatted a few times after the date how very we agreed that this was not going to work .
In hindsight I remembered that early he informed me he was going to the south of France for a vacation. He gave me the name of the city and had me Google it. The city just happened to be home of a very large nudist community. I somehow missed that red flag.

Check back soon for more from This Single Lady's Life. Comment, like and share.



Saturday, July 12, 2014

This Single Lady's Life Part 5

This year many of my friends either got married or had babies. As a single lady who values family I have been happy to share in their joy, but also a bit worried for myself. I have begun to wonder why it is that I am still single.

I began completing the homework assignments as part of my love course. I took a look back at my dating history, then identified my negative dating patterns. I have informed friends and coworkers that I am looking and open to being setup. Unfortunately the majority of my friends are in relationships and as such have lost contact with many of their single friends. My single friends well let's just say I have yet to be setup with anyone.

I returned to online dating, one specialty website, one popular and one dating app. As I browsed the profiles I noticed something about the way men present themselves online. Many of the profiles featured shirtless pictures, a few in the hot tub and some exposing much more. I appreciate the male form, however I realized that I find this willingness of men to objectify themselves as a turn off. I have also received very forward and sometimes aggressive first messages. Online dating to me seemed to have declined to a meat market. I found myself wondering would this man ask such inappropriate questions if his first interaction with a woman was in person?

I committed myself to three months of online dating. It has been difficult not to sink back into the hermit pattern and delete my accounts. I forced myself to continue with the homework and soon had a first date scheduled.

Find out how my date went next time. There is much more to This Single Lady's Life.


Saturday, July 5, 2014

This Single Lady's Life Part 4

So if you've been reading my blog you know that at the ripe old age of 35 I decided to figure out why it is that I'm still single. I picked up a "love course " and began to take a look at my single life. Here is what I've discovered about myself so far. For years I have been engaged in what has been classified as The Hermit Dating pattern.

Here's what that means. I was too busy with school, then work and my internship then studying for my state exams etc. I kept myself so busy and focused on other things that by the end of the day I was exhausted and had no energy left for a social life or dating. I was basically hiding behind everything I had to do. What it boils down to is fear of trusting, fear of getting close to someone and fear of a broken heart.

I realized that I would use the "love will find you when you're not looking for it " saying as a crutch. One of the first things I had to ask myself on this new journey was "if I'm not looking how will I recognize it when love does come along?" So I took the first step and let a few one friends know what I'm up to. Then informed them that I'm open to blind dates. Then I returned to the dreaded online dating community!

Check back soon as there is much more to this single lady's life including all new experiences with online dating and the ways it has changed.

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