Monday, June 16, 2014

This Single Lady's Life 3

This Single Lady's Life Part 3

Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Through my online dating before online dating was cool I met the following young men.

Derek: He was a year younger than me, lived nearby and was funny. I had a car he did not. So the younger version of myself was the taxi for all outings. He lived with his mother and she was very critical of him. Rarely hung out at his place. Then suddenly he was gone. I still have no idea what happened to him.

so I went out with Mario. Again no car. But he had a big smile and a big heart. He was just as geektastic as me. We spent many Saturdays watching the latest movies. We were both shy and neither one of us made a move. Then he moved out of the area. He ran into an ex. They are now happily married. Me, I'm still single. 

That leads me to Ray. He was fresh out of the Navy, he was strong, smart and attractive. When we were in the same room I could barely breath the chemistry was so strong. I didn't know how to express my feelings or how to say I don't want this to end. I went to a cast party for a play that I'd worked on and Suprisingly Ray was there too with a date. This was my first real heart break. How could someone I felt so strongly for do that to me? I kept trying with him until one day he stopped calling. He's married with children and me I'm still single.

Honorable Mentions: Jay a younger guy helped pick up the pieces after Ray. It was fun to be around until he pushed me and kicked me. He thought it was playful. I did not. Tony he would talk to me for hours. We would spend time at the beach. I asked why we never got more serious. He said his girl friends look like Brandy and well I don't. He's engaged and I'm still single.

I've continued to date off and on but have not managed to get past two or three dates with a anyone else.

Remember those negative dating patterns I learned about? Find out what that are in Part 4. Leave me a comment, like and share.

There's more to come in This Single Lady's Life. 

Monday, June 9, 2014

This Single Lady's Life 2



This Singe Lady's Life Part 2

A look back at my dating history. I don't recall any baby crushes, but I do remember hanging out with the son of one my mother's close friends when I was in third grade. Then nothing. I was one of five African American students in my entire elementary school. I was shy and unsure of myself. Middle school much of the same although I did attend a much more diverse school. I developed physically early and this attracted attention from much older boys some times even young adults. Being approached by grown men on the streets was very scary for me. Since I was shy I kept my head down and tried to ignore them.

High School was different I met the friend of a girl I'd worked with over the summer before freshmen year. He was nice to me, he held my hand, he gave me my first kiss, he walked me home from school. A few weeks after we met he noticed that his ex girlfriend lived in my apartment complex. He never talked to me again but he did start visiting her regularly. I had a big crush on a boy I only saw from afar. He wasn't in any of my classes and I didn't have the nerve to speak to him. So I put my nose in the books and graduated with honors and childless. The latter was quite an accommplishment since so many among my senior class graduated as parents.

College, time to get out there and date I thought. I tried posting an ad online and met a handful of interesting young men. 

Want to know about them and why I'm still single?                                          
Stay tuned there's much more to This Single Lady's Life.

Let me know what you think. Feel free to leave a comment below.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

This Single Lady's Life 1


This Single Lady's Life. Part One.


I turned 35 years old this year and celebrated with a few close friends. I felt blessed to have friends and family who love, care, support and encourage me. In the past 7 years I have graduated from university with a Master's Degree in clinical psychology, completed my internship hours, past my boards and obtained my license in marriage and family therapy. I have also begun my own private practice while accepting a promotion at the community services agency where I work. I've worked hard at achieving my goals and turning dreams into reality. This has been true in all areas of my life except for one. Finding the one.

I was a child who always loved working with younger children. I adored my nieces who I babysat regularly. I knew that I wanted to grow up and have children of my own one day. The big wedding, the groom I wasn't so sure about but babies yes. So this year it hit me. I'm single, I have no children. Why? I value having a family, I've always wanted children. What should I do about this dilemma?

A colleague suggested that I read a self help book she highly recommends. After saying what do I have to lose I downloaded the book. I discovered that the book is more of a Love Course. First I needed to look back and discovering my dating patterns. Want to know what I discovered? Stay tuned.

Have questions for me? Leave me a comment or a question and let me know what you think. Don't forget to check back soon.